My Sunlight
by Gwen Lanturn
Summary: Hobbit High School AU/ Durincest - Kili is in love with his brother, but only he (and his chem teacher) knows. He is black mailed by a pesky Thranduil, and is questioned by a concerned Fili, while he fights to keep his dirty little secret locked away. He can't lose his strand of sunlight. -shipping this is my dirty little secret
1. Chapter 1

High School AU  
The Hobbit  
Fili x Kili

It was my secret shame all throughout high school, well, more or less. I knew Mr. Greenleaf, the chemistry teacher, had figured it out. He loved the idea that one of Thorin Oakenshield's nephews was an incestuous little fag too much. He probably got off on the fact that nobody but him knew about the family's fatal flaw. He was a prick and I was a disgusting piece of filth. What was I thinking? I wasn't obviously because I had fallen in love with my big brother and let the worst person ever find out. I don't even know how Thranduil figured it out, maybe I had been caught staring too many times or maybe he just had to catch me once with that lovey-dovey look on my face to know.

Of course he black mailed me into being his personal slave; the torture of school wasn't learning anymore, there wasn't anytime for that in between all of the "Kili, go get me a cappuccino from the cafeteria" and "Kili, be a good boy and run these papers to the main office." My grades were suffering, I couldn't even recall the last time I saw any of my friends. I was sure someone would notice soon and I would have to blurt out lies and excuses about what was going on. No one else could know the truth, one asshole was one too many. I couldn't tell Uncle, I couldn't tell mum, and I absolutely would not tell Fili. I could see that conversation going greatly.

"Brother, I need your help, the chem teacher is black mailing me into doing his foot work"  
"Oh, whatever is he black mailing you with that has your panties in a twist?"  
"My not sibling like love for you"

So there I was walking home after school alone because Mr. Greenleaf kept me late to shine his shoes, literally, I had to kneel before him and rub his shoes clean of the dog shit I'm positive he stepped in on purpose. I wasn't expecting a black truck to come driving up beside me; that my brothers voice would come from inside telling me to get my ass in the car. It was dim out; the sun had only just set beneath the grey winter sky; the occasional car passed us by as we sat in silence.

Fili made no move to start driving off any time soon so I just sat quietly in the passenger seat beside him. He was just staring out the window like he had nothing better do to. His hair was only made up of one loose braid hanging over his shoulder. Even without obvious sunlight its golden streaks glimmered like one of Uncle's well polished collectable coins. I couldn't see his eyes, which bothered me. His beautiful eyes were darker than the sky but lighter than the ocean, I could get lost in them; they were wise beyond their years, but still shimmered with his youth. I kept shifting to get a glance at them but I couldn't no matter how much I leaned one way or another.

"Kili" His voice sent a chill through out my body "Whats wrong with you?"

"W-what?" The word was forced out in my panic. Did he know? Oh no, this couldn't be happening. He did look at me finally, his eyes were as stunning as I had described but they were angry. Yes, mixing in the depths of those orbs was rage, concern, and love. The kind of love reserved for brothers, not a lover, just a brother. I decided to play it cool and began twirling one of my dark strands of hair around my fingers, looking detached from the situation.

"I mean, I figure there is a great many things wrong with me, but why don't you tell me the one your thinking of? Or not you know; just let the conversation drop and we can talk about your day"

"No Kili, that's not what I meant and I'm not letting it go. Your worrying us, me, mum, Uncle; your scaring us."

"What have I done?!" I ask, my voice a border line between a yell and a whine, I was getting defensive, "I'm fine Fili I swear!"

"That's a lie!" He was trying to stab me with his glare, to make me guilty, it was working. I could feel my resolve breaking, my soul was being shredded to bits, my heart was pounding I could feel it from my ears to my toes. I wanted to tell him everything, but I sure as hell didn't want to lose my only brother, I didn't want to lose the small bit of sunshine that has been mine to cling to since before I was born.

"I pretty sure you know your grades look shitter than ever, you haven't been talking to anyone, not even Tauriel" I winced, Tauriel was a real doll. She at least knew I was gay, she was okay with me saying I liked her to my family and junk; mostly because she wanted to get Legolas jealous. It was a good "relationship." She always chided me to come out to my family, but I couldn't. If I came out the next obvious question from them would be "who do you like?" which I can't answer. Fili was still raging beside me; he wasn't even glaring at me anymore, he was stared at the ceiling, probably asking a deity why he got such a shitty little brother.

"Further more, you've not been yourself. We sat here for ten minutes and you didn't do anything. You just stared at me and jerked around a bit. The Kili I know would've gotten impatient after I a few seconds he definitely would've bugged me about letting him drive. Just tell me what's wrong!" His face, my brother's handsome face, looked pained. I had no doubt that if I went home I would get the same face from Thorin and mum. I can't do this to them anymore, even if I have to ruin myself my family deserves to be free of my problems, especially Fili.

"I'm being black mailed." There done, I figured the more vague I was it would be easier, I was once again horribly mistaken. Fili got more riled up, the anger wasn't directed at me anymore, it was a murderous rage directed at the wheel of the truck. His teeth grinded against each other trying to contain himself.

"Who." He growled, his knuckles were pure white against the black wheel he gripped. "Tell me what asshole has a death wish so I can grant it."

"It's Mr. Greenleaf" I stuttered. Fili relaxed back into his seat but his shoulders remained tense. He turned to me slowly looking up with sad eyes, the rage seemed to have left him for the moment. I felt disappointed at his lack of threats for our much hated teacher.

"Kili, what the fuck does Thranduil have on you? Did he threaten you or Uncle? Me?"

"No."

"Then what Kili?"

"I can't tell you" I looked away and out my window at the surrounding lush foliage next to the road. This was so cliché, there would have to be a million romance movies with this exact scene, except this wasn't a romance, or a movie; it would end badly. I could already tell by Fili's intense stare penetrating the back of my head that I would eventually have to tell him. However one thing seemed to go my way that night, he started the truck and we began our drive home. Before I could escape the confines of the car to the safety of my room he caught me by the wrist. Once again I had to see the brother love written on his face; I turned away, ashamed and disappointed.

"We'll deal with Greenleaf tomorrow." He paused,"You don't have to tell me, Kili, but you need to know that I'm here when you need me" It wasn't an 'if' you need me, it was a definite you 'will' need me. I tugged my arm out of his gentle grasp and hopped out of the truck, bolting off to my sanctuary, grumbling out an okay before I was out of ear shot. Just like I have for the past few years now I went to sleep full of self-loathing and self-pity. I knew I couldn't keep up this act much longer, and that when I let my guard down I would lose everything, my family and my brother. I would lose my beautiful sunshine, my ray of happiness. I woke up with tears in my eyes the following morning. 


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Due to some very flattering comments I have decided to continue. Thank you for the support! I hope you enjoy this story as I continue to unravel Kili and his Sunlight. ^-^

_It was so dark I couldn't see anything, but it was okay because Fili was beside me. I knew that so long as Fili was here mom and Uncle would be too. We were huddled together, scared, and then one by one they all left me. I ran and ran but I couldn't find them, I kept screaming their names and no one answered. It was too dark-_

"Mr. Oakenshield, this is English class not a study hall so please awaken this instant!" I heard something shrill bark in my face. I shot up from my desk headbutting the annoying speaker, my teacher.

"Oh no! Mr. Boggins, I am so sorry!"

"No, no! It's fine! I'm fine! Don't worry!" The small man said clutching his face with his hands. "It's Baggins, Kili, please just- I think I'm bleeding, ah um I'm going to go down to the nurses office, um just sit quietly until I get back." The high-strung teacher fled the room so quickly the students only saw a blur of red from his tye, or his blood. I rubbed my eyes groaning and glaring at anyone still staring at me. I hadn't slept properly in weeks; I kept having nightmares and it was always the same one.

I glanced at the clock, happily realizing there was only a few more minutes until the next bell, then I would actually have a study hall. I laid my head back down on my desk but I couldn't settle down, it felt like someone was still watching me. I glanced around the room quickly, Tauriel was on her phone, Ori was reading a book the size of my head, and then I saw him. Legolas Greenleaf was staring at me with his cold blue eyes, they were an exact replica of his father's. I shuddered, of course he knew too; I'm sure he was just as excited about my gross little secret as his daddy was.

The bell rang and I was ready to bolt but I was caught by his long pale hand. The blond boy held on to my shoulder not roughly, but not loose enough to let me get away. I saw Tauriel staring at us and I thought for a moment she would save me, but she merely gave me a thoughtful look and walked off, her hips swaying. So she expected this to be Legolas' moment of jealousy; she probably thought we were going to 'fight' over her. I was scared that I might actually have to fight. I could handle myself, but so could Legolas; he had been in karate for way longer than I had been in wrestling.

"Can I help you Greenleaf?" I asked, poison dripping in my words. I tried pulling myself away but I felt his grip on my shoulder tighten.

"Look," he began "I know we've never gotten along, and we probably won't ever, but I honestly just want to talk. I'm sure this will benefit to the both of us." He sounded a lot like his father, which bothered me, but I also decided that Legolas also had the same leverage as his father and a lot more friends to tell about it so I could give him a few minutes of my time. I took a seat on top of one of the desks, folding my arms against my chest; he took the same approach, leaning on the wall instead.

"My Da, he..." the tall boy trailed off and tried again "I know about your agreement with my father."

"Oh really? Congrats, you want in too?" I said with spite laced in my voice. I watched him flinch and look down. "No, that's not it, you just wanted to tell me how disgusting I am. Don't worry, I already know, I have to live with myself everyday!"

"I didn't come here to judge you!" He said standing straighter now. He looked intimidating this close up, I started to regret being so headstrong in my accusations. "I wanted to say I'm sorry. My dad can be a real asshole sometimes and it pisses me off."

I was shocked, I'm actually pretty sure I stopped breathing for a few minutes. There was no way this was Thranduil's kid, maybe he just didn't know the bulk of the story yet. I had to find out.

"How much do you actually know?" I asked dryly, my voice cracking.

"I know everything, but I won't tell anyone. I just wanted to let you know your not the only one my dad has done this to"

"W-what? You mean you don't-"

"Don't you think," He started smiling sadly "I would've ask Tauriel out by now, Kili? I can't, my dad doesn't approve."

"But you don't care about my feelings toward..." I struggled to finish the sentence. I had never spoken to someone openly about this before, especially in a somewhat positive manner. It was really difficult, and I wasn't sure if I could trust this guy yet.

"Nah, the heart wants what it wants; who am I to judge?" I smirked; that was the best thing I had heard in weeks. I felt a little of the sadness weighing down on me come off my shoulders. The blond continued and I listened appreciatively.

"I'm sorry I can't do much to help, but I just wanted to give you this." He took out two twenty dollar bills from his pocket. "For the cappuccinos"

"No I can't, I-"

"Don't worry about it. I took it out of my dad's desk this morning. Just do me a favor and keep saying you like Tauriel. It keeps all the other assholes off her. Oh yeah, and give her this" He said handing me a folded piece of lined paper, probably a love note or something. "See you later"

He left me staring after him like I had never seen someone walk before. That had to be the best thing that had happened to me in months. I uttered out a goodbye and went off toward my next class. Hopefully, with good news for a change, I would be able to get a nice nap in for study hall, no nightmares, maybe even a good dream. But I didn't get to sleep, I had only just got to class on time, but then the teacher said I had been called down to the chemistry department; Mr. Greenleaf wanted to see me. I wasn't in a hurry to get there, so I took my sweet time getting from one end of the school to the other.

When I did arrive in his room the bastard was no where to be seen, just a message on the white board that read: _Sit and wait._ I grumbled sitting in one of the desks; I forced myself to stay awake because I was sure that sleeping here would be the biggest mistake. I waited and waited nearly nodding off a few times before Thranduil finally showed up half an hour later. He smirked at my disheveled appearance and told me to stand up. I did anxiously, my legs shaking from exhaustion. His smirk was still present as he sat at his desk and took out some papers.

"Why Kili, you look dreadful. Aren't you getting enough sleep?" he asked, his voice so sweet I almost gagged, however I glared and nodded stiffly.

"I called you here to talk about your grades." he paused shuffling through the papers he was holding "All of them look particularly nasty, but your worst subject is my class" He feigned a hurt look. Of course he couldn't keep it up for long and laughed softly, I suppose my face at the moment must have looked amusing. Dark circles under my eyes with an exasperated expression.

"I called your house and talked to your Uncle Thorin. You will be staying late tonight to makeup some missed work" I clenched my fists making sure I didn't move to much or I might lash out. I felt something wet slide down my face. Much to my horror, and Greenleaf's amusement, I was crying. He didn't even quiet his laughter this time, he laughed in my face. I couldn't breath or talk, or it would make me cry more; I couldn't do that to myself. He dismissed me and said to go clean myself up, as clean as scum like me could get.

I did sprint off to the bathroom and locked myself in the handicapped stall. I felt a waterfall of tears stream down my cheeks and neck. I waited until it was finished to wobble to my feel and try to dry off the salty water stinging my face and eyes. I didn't want to look in the mirror, but I did anyway. My eyes now not only had dark circles, but they were also pink and puffy like my nose. I looked how I felt, awful and disgusting; I wanted to cry all over again.

When I finally got to go home after a few hours of makeup work, which by the way translates into "Go get me a cappuccino; I have a new pair of hiking boots that need cleaned", I just wanted to go to my room. It was six o'clock anyway, mum and Fili would be at their jobs. I wasn't counting on Uncle Thorin sitting me down in front of some stew and telling me to eat it; I just wasn't expecting Thorin to do anything period. He was always the type to sit and stare, brooding as my mum called it, making people, me in particular, really uncomfortable. I wondered what Mr. Greenleaf had actually told him on the phone. Pushing around the vegetables on my plate didn't count as eating; I wasn't really hungry, but the growl that echoed from Uncle's throat was enough to convince me otherwise; so I took a few bites from my plate. It was really good, I thought, as I finally began to dine correctly.

"You haven't been eating properly these past few nights." Uncle stated. He didn't say much else until after I finished my meal. His eyes were a lot like Fili's full of worry and concern, but not quite the same. They spoke for themselves; I knew where this conversation would go. I didn't even try to get up; knowing Uncle, he would probably tackle me and tie me up until I talked, so I spoke first.

"I'm sorry" It came out meek; it sound odd with my rough voice. The silence continued, as Uncle thought about how to reply.

"I don't like Greenleaf; if it were just his class you were failing I wouldn't care, but you went from a B average in nearly every class down to a failing grade in three weeks. What is the problem, Kili?" More silence, and this time it was my fault. I definitely wasn't telling Uncle about the black mail. Telling Fili was one thing because he wouldn't do anything unless I asked, but Uncle despised Thranduil since they were in high school together, and I know he wouldn't hesitate to kill him, and I couldn't have my Uncle go to jail because he killed my chem teacher.

"You don't have to tell me, but you have to talk to someone."

"I have."

"Really?" he said raising a thick eyebrow at me.

"Really, Uncle."

"Good," he said rising from his seat. He grabbed my plate and headed off towards the kitchen telling to get some rest because I looked "Like shit". I did gladly go up to my room and crashed onto my mattress inhaling the comforting smell of home. I didn't have good dreams, I just slept, and for that I was thankful. I knew that talking to Legolas today wasn't what Uncle had meant by telling someone, but it did make me feel better. However there would be more problems to deal with later and I didn't know how much longer I could keep going on like this. How much longer until I let it all go? How much longer until I broke down and gave into the dark?


	3. Chapter 3

When I was younger, it was just me and him against the world, no black mailing teachers or closet cases could ruin our day. It was peaceful and content. We would go on picnics and braid each others hair; when it rained outside we would whip out the Nerf swords and guns and just wreck the house battling each other. It was fun and innocent but it couldn't stay that way. Around the time I turned fourteen I started to notice boys. Some were lean, some were muscular, and all of them looked preferable to the female figure. Nothing is wrong with curves, I just craved a more angular physic. Then I started to notice him, a squared jaw and firm body, it was disturbing how attracted to him I was. I shouldn't have felt that way about my brother. Liking men was one thing but falling in love with your sibling was rated on an unacceptable level.

I woke up early today and just watched him sleep; it was so cute. He looked relaxed for once; his gentle snores were muffled by a pillow as he snuggled it closer; I wanted that pillow to be me so desperately. I chided myself, I couldn't think these things, not now, not ever. I shook him awake tugging at his messy hair, grinning as he grumbled about it being to early. I wanted one last day, that's what I always told myself. Just one more day for us to be happy together; then I would tell him. Not about my lusting of course, no, but I would come out of the closet.

So we packed up a blanket and some sandwiches and headed off to the park. It was sunny out but still chilly, spring was only beginning after all, so we lounged in our sweat pants and hoodies near the vacant play ground. He didn't look as miserable as he had been lately, which was great, but I longed to see his smile. His smile was like candy; like himself, sweet, innocent, and carefree. He hadn't been smiling a lot lately, not real smiles, they were bitter and false. I had to know the real reason, I needed to know what made him so depressed and lost looking. I think he could tell what I was asking just by looking at me. He sighed, and gave in, finally trusting me.

"I'm gay, Fili." Kili said, his voice cracking, his dark eyes darted off to the distant swing set, which must have been much more interesting to look at than my face. I was shocked, there was no way, the chances of two brothers both being-. I started to play with my hair nervously, he couldn't possibly feel the same way I did. I heard a sniff, and I realized he was crying, he must have taken my silence for disapproval. I quickly reached out and pulled him in close. He was so brave telling me this, I knew I owed him the truth as well.

"Kee," I said pulling him back a little so that I could look into his eyes, he need to know that this was the complete truth, "me too." He gasped, the amazement was written clearly across his face until he buried it in my shoulder. I stroked his dark tresses; I didn't want to let go, this was as close as I could ever get to him. I would never have more than this. He pushed me away after a few minutes, apologizing for the tears and wet spots on my hoodie. After all of the drama we went on to do the norm, brushing and braiding hair, eating our sandwiches. I hoped this was a sign that this wasn't our last happy day together. There was still a question nagging me in the back of my head.

"Is this what Thranduil was using as black mail?" He became tense again, and I internally screamed at myself for ruining his good mood.

"I suppose you could say that" he murmured. I was confused by what he meant, there was a piece of this puzzle that I was missing, I needed to find it. He got up from his seat and brushed some sandwich crumbs off of his pants and onto the blanket. He held out his hand which I took and stood up as well. He pointed off into the distance, most of it was just field until there was a six-foot metal fence surrounding the east end of the park.

"Race you there?" He asked. I nodded once, he obviously didn't want to talk about school. "On your mark, get set..." He started running and shouted a "Go!" behind him as he fled. I chuckled and raced to catch up to him, he was a lot faster than I remember. There was no way I was going to win by playing fair but if I couldn't win then neither could that cheater. Once he was in arms reach I did catch hold of him around the waist lifting him into the air so his running was cut short. He was heavier than I remember too; we fell to the ground laughing and out of breath. He rolled off from his crushing position above me and laid down next to me, using my arm as a pillow momentarily before propping himself up on his elbow.

He gazed at me with such a fondness, and for a moment my breath caught in my throat. He looked so happy and kind, and for a second I though I saw something more in his eyes. I wanted to sit up too, but if I did either two things would happen. One, I would kiss him, or two, the moment would end. I did want to kiss him, but I didn't want this moment to end. I noted how close we were and how easy it would be to steal a peck. I would love to feel those pink lips on mine, I wanted to know if they would be demanding and rough or submissive and soft. I could feel my cheeks heat up as I looked from his mouth to his eyes and back to his mouth again.

This had to stop, I realized getting up suddenly, anymore temptation and I would give in. I was at war with myself inside. Part of me was scolding me for being so stupid, another was screaming about how nasty it was to think about my baby brother that way, and the last part was crying out at the loss of closeness. Kili sat all the way up now and looked concerned, and scared? No, I denied it, I was mistaken.

"Fili?" He called out, the tone sounded like what a kicked dog might sound like if it could talk after it's master abuse. I really had to thank the weather men for being terrible at forecasting this once, because it was starting to seem anything but sunny out. Dark clouds consumed the light blue sky and swallowed the sun, as little rumbles of thunder was heard. It seemed like a great excuse to get going.

"Let's go Kili, it's going to rain." We packed up our stuff and started home. Our beautiful Sunday was gone and tomorrow was Monday; then the torture would start all over again. We wouldn't get out the Nerf weapons, we would just pretend the day was ruined by rain. It seemed like this was our last happy day.

* * *

Author's Note: I hope that wasn't too confusing and that it didn't move too fast. I wanted to try out a Fili POV. I also hope that it might have lightened the mood a bit. I know sometimes when I'm reading angst I have to stop because my "feels" hurt too much. I'll be back in Kili's POV for the next chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Okay you guys, the next chapter will be the last, but I want your opinion and your comments. When I end the story do you want a good ending, a bad ending, or (if I'm tempted enough) a cliff hanger with a promised sequel? Sorry I haven't updated in a while.

**Warning! Lots of swearing.**

* * *

"Kili! Earth to Kili!" Tauriel waved her hand rapidly in my face as I blinked back to life. The tall red head was done up nicely today; my guess was that she had another secret date with Legolas. They had been going out since I had given her the love letter the blond boy had written for her. I didn't tell anyone that I liked her anymore. I had a metaphorical half of myself hanging out of the gay closet. I would probably tell Uncle and mum soon, I knew that it would some how be easier to tell them with Fili now by my side. I could never come completely out though, my heart would always be hidden in the dark corners of the secluded closet space and no one but the crappy chem teacher would ever know about my feelings for my brother.

I rubbed my eyes as if awaking from a slumber. This was all I had been thinking about since Sunday night. It was only eleven thirty in the afternoon; it was really to early to be distracted by this. I looked over at Tauriel and raised my eyebrows so I wouldn't actually have to ask her what she wanted, I was just too lazy to actually respond. She started to prattle on about her nails and what movie she was going to see with her new stud boyfriend and I nodded absently along, pretending to listen. Tauriel was my best friend, but I didn't fit the gay friend stereotype. I didn't know what Gucci was and I hated shopping with a passion; she didn't understand that I was still the same guy who used to play in little league with her just quite yet.

The bell would ring soon and I would be able to go to lunch. I let my mind wonder aimlessly about small things, like whether it was sloppy Joe or mystery meat on the menu today. It was refreshing to have even a second of peace, not to worry about things. Of course I had come to realize this and it was instantly jinxed by a ringing phone. The financial literacy teacher, Mr. Smaug, picked up the phone with a sneer, upset that the ringing machine had woken him from his dozing on the front desk. He paused listening to the voice on the other end of the phone, his face pulled back into a silent snarl. His terrifying eyes scanned the now eerily silent class; all of the students were terrified and anxious to see who would be the next victim. His gazed landed on me and stopped. I swallowed the bile I found in my throat as I heard him grunt out an affirmative into the phone. He gave a final grunt and said his goodbyes without looking away from me.

"Lunch detention in Greenleaf's room, Oakenshield" I nodded and shrank back into my chair. I felt Tauriel's consoling hand on my shoulder, trying and failing to reassure me. It seemed that nobody liked Thranduil, even the nearly as hated Smaug, but what bothered me was that out of all the people he had to pick on, it was me. I yelled at myself mentally for being selfish. If anyone could take the wrath of a Greenleaf if was an Oakenshield, our families had hated each other for generations. I had the smallest and slightly sickening bit of hope that the cruel teacher would just disappear. Maybe Legolas and I could actually become friends and our families would get along. Along with a million other things in my life however, that just would not happen. The answer was clear, the universe hated me and there was nothing I could do about it.

I grabbed an apple on the way to the room, after all it was a lunch detention and I knew it would piss off Greenleaf. I took a bite and made sure the sweet juices were running down my chin sticking to my neck and stubble. Disorganized and messy, just the way Thranduil hated it. My small rebellions against his black mail was getting bolder, just like myself, it may not have been too long until the blond teacher became fed up with my behavior and gave up his scheme. I entered the class and the first thing I saw was him, with a look a disgusted on his face, which I returned with a smirk.

There was the sound of shifting to the side and a blinding flash of golden light. I heard a deep rumbling chuckle and I knew instantly who it was. Fili was in the second row, his feet propped up on the desk in front of him and his elbow perched on the desk behind. The sun from a near by window was reflecting off his beard and hair; it looked like he was glowing. My breath was taken away and I just stood there staring for the longest time. Fili smiled at me, his mouth stretching from ear to ear, the kind of smile that warmed your insides like a fire.

Thranduil watched this exchange with a disturbing amount of interest and right then I knew how much trouble I was in. Thranduil was a loose canon and could do anything from humiliating me to destroying my life. He pointed to a desk a few rows apart from my brother and looked back down to the papers that I'm sure he wasn't grading. Fili was looking at me; I could feel the hairs raise on the back of my neck as I continued to ignore him. I couldn't risk looking at him. I wanted to stare at Thranduil, and develop the instant ablity to shot lazers out of my eyes, right at his smug face, but I wouldn't risk encouraging him. I lowered my vision to my hands and sat perfectly still, like a gargoyle statue, cold and lonely.

We got half way through the period with out any signs of a commotion, but I didn't dare let myself hope, I could sense it in the air that something would happen. It shouldn't have come as a shock that Fili initiated the problem, but I really was expecting it to be Mr. Greenleaf. Behind me I heard a loud cough, not an actual cough, because this one sounded strangely like Fili had said 'Dick'. I saw Greenleaf shift from the corner of my vision. Another cough came once again that sounded like a profanity, and I glanced up locking gazes with the icy blue irises of the chemistry teacher. He grinned and swiftly his hand swept over his desk knocking over all of his papers and office supplies. He put on a mask of innocence over his barely contained pride.

"Opps, how clumsy" He said his voice a few octaves higher than normal. "Kili, pick this up." There was no please or asking tone, this statement was a demand. I raised myself slowly and began walking over but suddenly a familiar hand was latched onto my wrist. Fili stood behind me, his guarded expression matching Thranduil's nearly perfect if only the ferocity in his eyes was invisible. His chest puffed out and his hand tightened on my arm, and I was reminded of all the shows on animal planet. How animals would claim what was theirs, and I became flushed with embarrassment as well as panic.

"No" the blond stated defiantly "You did that on purpose, you clean it up. Sit down, Kili" I shifted and a glanced between the two of them. Whether or not the teacher had heard my brother I didn't know because his gaze hadn't left mine. It seemed to me like he was trying to get into my head. I heard him repeat his demand and I made a move to go but Fili's grip on me clamped down harder making me wince in slight pain. My brother was now sending me a disapproving stare, no matter which way I turned the spotlight was on me. I knew the decision I had to make as I shook off Fili's hand, already missing it's warm touch.

"It's fine, Fee." I said with a note of soft finality, I could feel him jolt in shock. I leaned down and began picking up the mess, when I heard Thranduil mutter something and I wished only for my brother's sake that he hadn't.

"Fag." It hung heavy in the air like a hammer pounding on an anvil. There wasn't even a moment of silence, there was just a clamoring noise and me once again being thrown between my brother and teacher, only this time I was the one holding Fili. His body shook with rage and I had to use most of my weight to hold him back.

"You wanna say that again!" He yelled jerking every which way to get out of my grip as I tried to quiet him. Thranduil looked like a child on Christmas. His face lit up and he grinned showing us his starch white teeth. He leaned down a few inches and moved his head over my shoulder so he was facing the raging teen.

"I said your brother is a homo. He likes it up the ass"

"Jokes on you! You fucker, I already know!" Fili said laughing in a maniacal kind of way. To say Thranduil was surprised would be putting the term lightly. Once again the monster and my sunshine were wearing the same face, pure anger and hatred. Thranduil didn't like it when his surprises got ruined. But unlike my brother, the chem teacher had been playing the game of torment for years longer and I knew exactly what his next move was. He put his mask back on, his horrible smile stretching inhumanly wider.

"And you never wondered, who the lucky boy was did you?"

"No, no please." I begged in a whisper, Fili looked at me in a confused sense of wonder. My plea was silenced as the evil man continued to call out his checkmate.

"It's not just the fact that he's a no good little cock sucker, it the cock he wants to suck up to."

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" I screamed in vain, my hold on my vengeful piece of sunlight was slipping, and I realized as tears welled up in my eyes and my throat closed with grief, that this was probably the last time I'd ever hold him. After this he would see me as Thranduil saw me, he would see a disgusting messed up freak.

"What are you talking about?!" was the last thing the golden angel cried out before the devil revealed the truth.

"The piece of shit is in love with you." He said a laugh ripping itself from his heartless chest. That was the last thing I heard. Fili went limp in my arms and I ran, the winds of a hurricane couldn't travel as fast or destroy as much as I had that day. I was getting away from the school running for my house. It wasn't my home anymore; it would be cold and dark there; that was the kind of house I deserved. I lost my sunlight, and now all I had was the dark.


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning! Really dark stuff ahead, mentions of suicide and some swearing!  
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I admit that taking the truck was a really dick move on my part; Fili would have to take the nasty bus home. Fili gave me the keys earlier this morning in case Thranduil decided to keep me late and I needed a ride home. I had planned on giving them back to him, so that he wouldn't have to ride the bus he hated so much but I just had to get away. I pulled out of the school parking lot and sped off towards my house. I really shouldn't have been driving as fast as I had been in that state, with my vision blurred from the stinging tears and my breathing coming out of my throat in choking gasps. I was home safely in five minutes, thankfully no one had been out on the roads or they might've been hit. I wasn't worried about my own well being anymore.

I walked through the front door, once again pleased to find the house empty of it's residents. My head finally began to catch up to my situation and I sunk to the floor in defeat. What could I do? I obviously couldn't stay here anymore, Uncle, mum, and Fili, wouldn't want me here after this. I felt like I could die.

I paused and thought on that subject for a moment. I did truly feel like I wanted to kill myself but I didn't know if I could. So many questions ran through my head. Would it hurt? Was there a heaven or hell waiting for me? I shook my head, because this was a very possible easy solution to my problem. I picked myself off the floor and took off up the stairs to my uncle's room. Beneath the mattress I found my salvation, a small revolver that would be primary in the act of destroying myself. I walked down the hall to my room solemnly, I would hate to get Uncle's room messy with my blood and brains everywhere.

I sat on my bed and put the head of the gun in my mouth. It clattered around my mouth clicking against my teeth as my hands held it shaking. I hesitated and looked around my room a final time. In most cases a note would be in order, but what would I say and who would care to listen after what I had done? I was going to pull the trigger but something glinting in the room's glowing light caught my eyes. It was a photograph on my bedside table of Fili and I, happy and smiling like we had been just a few days ago in the park. Slowly I put the weapon down and picked up the framed memory, my tears dripped onto the glass barrier as I stared down at it. Within a few moments I started a hazy walk down memory lane gazing with envy at the two joyous boys in the photo.

I stopped moving completely and tried to gather my wits, never had I thought that the best news in the world would come from the lips of my enemy. I heard a sob and then I fell to the floor; Kili had ran out the door faster than one of Mr. Radagast's rabbits but I was still stunned with shock. I was quaking in excitement and fright, as I heard the sick bastard in front of me continue to laugh at my Kili. I shood on shaking legs and glared at the teacher with as much loathing as I could muster. His laugh calmed down and he grinned at me, his face was like acid burning my eyes. I grabbed the front of his shirt and almost brought my fist down on him but thought better of it, I did enjoy the look of terror that passed over his features though. I let him go and left, Kili needed me now, not him. Without a doubt however I would be reporting this to the main office and get the disgusting piece of crap off of the school staff.

I got out of the classroom and headed toward the parking lot, Kili probably wanted to get the hell out of here as much as I did. My hunch was correct, and I saw him shoot down the street at break neck speed. Unfortunately I didn't take into account that he would take the truck or that he would go fifty miles over the speed limit, leaving me with out a ride. Our house was a few blocks away so I started jogging down the street. This would probably be the worst love confession ever, Kee would be covered in tears and I would be covered in sweat. However if all went well we wouldn't care, I would ditch my part-time job for tonight and Kili and I would just be together, finally together. I picked up my pace with a new adrenaline pumping through my veins.

Fili and I used to do everything together. I remember Fili didn't go to any high school parties until I was old enough to come too, or how he quit the football team when I didn't get in. I held the photo in my arms close to my heart; I was saddened that the last thing my brother and I ever did together was let Thranduil send us to detention and tear us apart. I set the photo back on the night stand and glanced back at the pistol laying beside my thigh. I knew I couldn't go through with killing myself anymore, I felt like such a coward. My Sunlight saved me a final time from destruction when he was the one tearing me apart. I grabbed a suit case from my closet and started to pack it with clothes and money, most runaways didn't get the chance to pack, so I had to make use of it. I still wouldn't be welcome here even if it was required by law.

I heard the door slam downstairs and winced, thinking it would be my mother or Thorin, they wouldn't be to keen on me leaving so suddenly with out explanation. I went to my window and judged the distance it would take for me to jump to the ground with a suitcase without braking myself physically. I noticed the lack of cars in the driveway aside from the truck. Who was here then?

Panic came quickly, and the door to my bedroom swung open on cue, revealing Fili panting and sweating, looking strait at me with his blazing blue eyes. He came toward me like a lion would corner it's prey, I was backed against the wall even before he got to me, trembling like a leave. His hands came up to either side of my face, his body flush against mine, and I instinctively leaned into his touch. Maybe I did shot myself and this was heaven, or a coma induced dream. All of his attention bore down on me, my eyes, my nose, and my lips. He pressed his mouth to mine, we were both shaking I realized returning the kiss quickly. I was so desperate I got sloppy and blushed trying to pull away, but Fee bit down on my lower lip growling. I gasped and fell back into his embrace ignoring my burning lungs and running my fingers through his golden hair.

He did back away and I whimpered, tears resurfacing in my eyes. They were happy tears. Fili wiped them away with his thumb and leaned his forehead on mine, not saying a word or breaking eye contact. His body stopped pressing against me and I missed the feel of him instantly. Walking over to the bed he emptied the packed contents of the suit case onto the sheets and held up the revolver with a face that said exactly how pissed he was about finding it there. He threw the offending object out the still open door and I jumped when I heard it collide with and shatter something. My Sunlight sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him.

Still in a surprised daze I sat next to him. I still worried that this was his attempt to cling onto me as a brother, or an act of pity. I would've still accepted either, but I wanted this to be real so badly. He held me in his strong arms like I had held the picture moments ago, like I was something precious.

"I love you Kili and for once I'm glad everything Thranduil said was true." I nodded in agreement, nuzzling into his chest. I tried to inhale his scent, but my nose was too stuffed up from all the crying. We stayed like that, spooning each other without words until the sunset. Even after the sun went down taking it's smoldering light with it, all was well and bright, because I still had Fili beside me. I would always have Fili beside me. I would always have my Sunlight.

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**Author's Note: A happy ending and it's done! I'm sorry if the ending seemed a little rushed. I hope you guys liked it and thank you for all of your reviews and support. I think I'm abandoning The Hobbit for a bit, the Supernatural fandom is calling my name. Check out my stuff if your interested.**


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